Two weeks completed, today. Whew! Two weeks down, at least a year to go. That's very daunting, looking at the long run. I try not to think about it very often because it's too easy to get psyched out and loose hope, loose strength of mind. Instead, I focus on each day. Day by day. Week by week. But I realized that I have been missing some of the joy that food gives me. A couple of days ago, I told my husband I felt sad. It's stupid to feel sadness simply because you're not eating as much as you once were, or because you're not eating foods with much fat or sugar. But that's just how I felt.
I started to consider the longevity of this lifestyle change and realized that I need to incorporate just a little of the foods I love, that I can't deprive myself forever, because I won't be able to stick with it for the long term. If I feel empty in body and mind after just two weeks, then what will it feel like in two months? Eight? So, I decided to reward myself. Weight Watchers allots you a certain allowance of extra food points per week and it is your choice whether you allow yourself to eat them, or you skip them for greater weight loss. Last week I didn't touch them, despite being hungry. This week I decided to think about what one food I would really, really like and to have that one thing. A lot of foods went through my mind--cake, ice-cream, tempura, hot chocolate, cupcakes.....and I picked: a cinnamon roll from Panera. The calories were above and beyond my daily plan, but I enjoyed every_last_bite. I feel warm and happy (it's terrible that food causes such a reaction for me) and I feel ready to carry on with my food plan. Maybe a splurge is okay....every once in a while.