Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Week 1, Day 1; In The Beginning....

Well, to introduce myself, I am a 29 year old woman--somehow it's hard to say 'woman' as it sounds so very adult-who has struggled with weight her whole life.  As a child I was overweight, though not obese.  I remember so clearly the concern from seemingly everyone about my weight.  It's amazing to me how much those experiences have shaped my perspective.

I grew up thinking that no one could ever love me because of my body.  Luckily for me, I have a wonderful and dear husband and he is happy with my body, even if I am not.  Through high school and college I gained weight steadily and traveled into the obese category on the doctors' charts.  My sense of sense plummeted further.  It's terrible just how much of one's self worth can come from other's perceived perceptions.  I have worked hard to be funny, loving, and bubbly around others, but I am distant and fearful of people's criticisms.  At some point, I decided to get real and be the person I want to be and I joined Weight Watchers and lost 50 pounds.  I felt so wonderful and energetic and proud....in control of my body...and then I gained most of it back.  I have spent the past three years yo-yo'ing back and forth and I am about to set forth again on this journey.  For the sake of my family and friends, I decided to start this blog so that they don't have to hear every single thought, every high and low, the agony and the ecstasy that is the whole process.

Here's where I start.  Week 1, day 1.  My weight is 229.0 pounds, not an all time high, but far from where I am comfortable and happy.  The first day is passed and I have stayed within my goals. I felt hungry, dizzy, shaky, but I know from previous experience that these sensations fade within the first week.  I am hopeful and determined.  Onwards!

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for allowing us all to be a part of this journey with you! From the time we were little, I have always thought you were so beautiful. I know how important it is to feel that within, though, and truly believe it yourself. We all have things about us that eat at our self-worth, and to start or continue that process of discovery, change, and healing is a very big deal. I believe it helps to bring people into your circle while you take these steps. People who can cheer you on, and to whom you become accountable as you strive to reach your goal. Best of luck -- I have a feeling you're going to touch a lot of hearts along the way...