Today I weighed in at 211.6, putting me at -1.4 for the week and -17.4 pounds total with 61.6 pounds to go. Today's post is going to be short because I am so tired and my eyelids feel like bricks, but I am satisfied with the loss for the week, though I was hoping for a bit more since it's not the lowest score I saw on the scale this week. As I reflect, I realize it's sort of strange I chose the word "score" when talking about my weight--it makes it sound like a game, or perhaps trivializes the struggle, but really, keeping score is the best way that my mind absorbs the idea of making myself lose weight.
I have to see progress, to feel as though I am "winning" to continue onwards. While I shouldn't look at it this way, weight loss is monotonous and just plain hard and I realize that I'm starting my twelfth week (Welcome to the twelfth week of the rest of your life....) and it's all too easy to fall back into old patterns of behavior. So, I keep score. Minus on the scale for the week, I win. Plus on the scale, the damn fat wins. With my eye on the ball (or, er, rolls), I'm a determined player and I can be tenacious in the pursuit of winning and by golly, I'm going to be both a good loser and winner. And thanks to everyone who has and continues to send their support--I really appreciate your help. Go team!