W17, Day 1: Gain, gain, go away, don't come back another day....

Okay, today's weigh in didn't go well.  By Saturday morning, it was looking really good.  Then we went out for dinner and ice-cream on Saturday night.  That would have been okay, except that the next morning was Easter, complete with Easter brunch.  And, yes, I'd like to further admit that for dinner on Easter, we had frozen pizza *gasp at the unhealthiness of it all*.  I'm sure by now you're clucking your tongue in a 'tsk tsk tsk' pattern, but hold on to your salivary glands, there's more.

On Monday, I did well during the day, but then went out to dinner at Chevy's with friends before going to book club (where I also ate two small cream puffs).  Yeesh.  If I had eaten like this on any one of those days, the scale today would have been all right.  But three days out of seven is not very good, especially in a row.  So, the damage:  I gained +1.0 pounds, putting me at 209.4.  I seem to be bouncing around in these few pounds, and in truth, I feel I'm struggling with focus.  I know what has to be done, but I've lost some of the fire.   And yet, I still want the same things.  I want to be healthy.  In control.  And (I'm not gonna lie, shallow though it may be) I want to be pretty.  I don't think I'm going to make the 207 goal by next Tuesday (my birthday), though I've been there last weekend before the splurge, so I'm not crazy disappointed because I know I'm close.

I'm so anxious though about not gaining more in the next two weekends, but in my heart of hearts, I think it may happen.  Next weekend we're going to celebrate my birthday (Yes, we're celebrating both days...it's my 30th b-day and I should get to be a diva) and we'll have family staying with us and I'm worried I'm not going to want to resist food and I'll gain.  Then, the next weekend I'm going home for Mother's Day and a new food environment is tough too.  I just need to get through these next two weekends and then I can turn it around and really focus.  I realize that sounds like an excuse and I really don't mean it to be, but rather simply an acceptance of the challenges before me and permission to not be perfect for the next two weeks.   Meh.