Thursday, April 7, 2011

W14, Day 3: Appreciation

This post is a bit of a repeat of a post from week 8, but I wanted to take a moment to give thanks.  I look at my progress from last year (recorded perhaps less than faithfully) and compare it to this year and I can see not even just more loss, but a much more positive attitude and a feeling that yes, I can do this.  So, what's the difference?   You are.  This project.

I am different.

When I rejoined this January, I did it because I felt lost and hopelessly trapped in my body.  I know that sounds overly dramatic, but it's true.  I wanted to make changes, but it just felt too hard.  I'm not saying that it's all over and I'm cured and everything is going to be ginger peachy from now on, but my attitude truly has shifted.  Don't get me wrong, this is a difficult endeavor, still (and always?), but I feel I can make a true change.  For now, I can do this.

So, to my readers, thank you so much.  This week, the blog reached over a thousand total views and I am just grateful that so many people pop on over.  It makes a difference to know that people are reading because it makes me feel accountable, as though if I let myself fail, I'll be letter other people down too.  Thank you too for all the kind words of support and encouragement that I have received over these last months.  I know it may not seem like a big deal, but it really has warmed my heart to know that many people care.

I will say that when I started writing this blog, I felt rather embarrassed and self-conscious about the whole thing.  Writing this blog, though, has taught me that it's okay to talk about weight issues and to *gasp* state my weight aloud without fearing that people will publicly shun me in the streets.  I've learned that so many wonderful, beautiful people feel that we are less worthy than we really are.  I've also learned that I use a lot of commas, independent clauses, and parenthesis in my train-of-thought writing style, but I guess that's off topic.

Additionally, at the risk of sounding like an over-talkative actress with an Oscar in one hand and the curtain coming down, I'd like to thank my family, with whom I've been staying for a few days, for helping me stay on track with my food plan.  It's always difficult to adjust to a new food environment, but it's been easy to keep within my points thanks to your thoughtful consideration.  This week is looking good and I'm hoping for a decent loss next weigh day, provided I keep it up.

Lastly, I'd like to give a shout-out of love and appreciation to my wonderfully understanding husband.  I wouldn't be able to do it at all without his help and support.  Sometimes it's hard for me to understand how he can love both me and my body as one because it's what I struggle to do with myself, but he does it as a matter of course.  I feel such love and appreciation, thank you.  :)

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