So I bought the pants. To be more precise, the jeans. The jeans larger than any size I’ve ever purchased. Actually, it was a predecessor of these jeans that got me started on my weight loss path to begin with. Years ago, I was at the mall with my husband shopping for new jeans when I realized that the only ones that would fit were a size 22. I don’t know why that was my limit at the time, but I broke down and cried right there in the mall and vowed then and there to make some major food changes. And so I did.
I kept a pair of my largest pants to remind me of those times and my bad habits and why I never wanted to go back to that mental place. The day before I restarted this blog, I tried on those pants, only to realize they are too small. Ouch. That was a rather painful blow to my self-esteem. Of course, 1) a pair of pants does not determine one’s character or worth, and 2) I had a baby eight weeks ago so it’s more understandable that my belly is larger. Actually, I weigh less now than when I originally wore those pants, but my weight has redistributed itself to my tummy and thighs (I’d heard that I’d gain a bust size and was pretty all right with that, but it didn’t happen). So, getting back to my original sentence, I sucked it up and bought the size 22 jeans that I’ve so dreaded. Sadly, these pants are still a bit snug in the waistband, but I was unwilling to go any further up. I don’t want to set that trend for myself. I’ve gained four pants sizes through my pregnancy, and now I’m working my way back downward!
In other news, I’m hungry. Really, really hungry. All right, that’s not really news. I have charted everything I’ve eaten in the last two days, though I didn’t stay within calories yesterday. I’ve been allotted 1,700 base calories plus any amount that I exercise. I’ve been trying to fill up on vegetables. While this is good for my body, it’s wrecking havoc on my digestive track so I haven’t been feeling the best. From having done this before, I know that the first week is the hardest in terms of hunger and then my body adjusts and it’s fine. In the meantime, I’m drinking lots of fluids and trying not to think about the grumbly in my tumbly. Oddly, I realize there’s something cleansing about the discomfort, as though I’m feeling the excess slide away. It can keep on sliding! Tired and hungry, I still feel positive and excited too. Bring it on!