Okay, I'd planned for a different post for today, but this seems more timely. I'm mad at myself. I've fallen off my wagon this week....I fell off the wagon and then it ran over me. Things started out well enough. I had recovered from the Southern California trip well, eating right and doing my gym routines. Then we had dinner with friends. I didn't do very well with the pizza and dessert, but I'd been to the gym that day and eaten very sparingly knowing we'd be eating out. The next day was okay, though I had family visiting so we got an ice-cream sandwich. Okay, in the larger scope of things, some pizza and an ice-cream sandwich isn't really the end of the world. Except that it's a slippery slope. Food is seductive to me. I know this and I try to stay on my guard around it, but the next thing you know, we're eating jellybeans by the handful and other sweets are calling my name. I didn't even bother to keep track of the points on Thursday and Friday. How do I let this happen?
So last night things got a little food crazy during "Movie Night" with a series of snacks including (but not limited to) ice-cream, popcorn, crackers, a mochi ball, and three margaritas. How the hell did I let that happen? But it was so easy to slip into an evening of just eating and munching away. This was a shade of old behaviors that I'd hoped to have left behind me. I woke up this morning sick and was soon tossing up cookies. (By the way, this was an entirely natural event, no need for an intervention or anything!) I think that it was just too much of everything for me and my body protested. I'm not used to eating that way anymore, but it amazes me how easily I could fall into it again. I could just eat and eat and eat and be happy...up until the moment that the food bliss ends and I fall into the pit of self-loathing that's always there waiting for me.