Sunday, September 4, 2011

W35, Day 6: Confusion

I find myself very confused.  Things seem to be flowing much better this week and if things continue for the next couple days, I should be pretty happy come weigh day, so I don't want anyone to think that I am complaining.  But I am legitimately confused.

Here's why:
I am functioning under the impression that calories in = calories out.  What I mean by that is I've heard many times from general dieters, Weight Watchers, and websites that the number of calories that go into my body determine a gain or loss.  It's as simple as that, right?  If you eat more calories, you gain weight.  If you eat fewer calories, you lose weight.  There have been many instances in the last few years when I have wondered if that is true.

For example, several times I've indulged in rich foods and stayed under my daily food points and not lost weight or actually gained.  How could this be if I ate fewer calories than I was supposed to?  Oh how I railed at the diet gods that week.

Further, last week I ate under my calories every day except Saturday.  I am allotted 1,750 daily calories and  also get an exercise allowance on the days when I worked out, taking me up to around 2,000 total, but I tried to eat around 1,400-1,500 calories those days.  In theory, I should have lost two pounds that week because I was already eating about 500 calories less than I burned plus the extra 500 calories from exercise.  Instead I lost nothing.  How could that be?  I swear I counted my calories as faithfully as possible.

This week, in rebellion, I ate almost every single one of my calories, including my exercise ones and even had a way-over-calorie-crazy-food day.  The day after my binge lunch on Wednesday, I expected a gain on the scale and was shocked there was nothing.  The scale has been sliding down in small increments all week.  How can this be??  I eat so much more, (so much!) and yet I've begun to lose weight again.  Potentially, I'm looking at a relatively large loss this week after eating like crazy.  In truth, while I love eating more food, I also feel uncomfortable.  As if I am letting myself slide slowly out of control.  What if I'm tiptoeing my way into fueling my addiction?

I know that in the month that I've dropped Weight Watchers and started eating more, I've lost about ten pounds after four months of plateau.  That should be evidence enough, but I just can't seem to accept the idea of eating more.  I guess deep down my biggest fear is that I'm going to make myself more fat.  What if I wake up one day and I'm so much worse than I am now? Obviously you can't gain weight that quickly, but I'm just afraid of losing the control I've worked so hard to build these last seven months.


  1. It's a mystery I cannot explain. However, keep in mind that muscle weighs more than fat. With all your efforts at the gym, I'm certain you're gaining muscle. Muscle = metabolism!

  2. If you cut calories too far, your body tries to conserve energy because it thinks you're starving. It's a delicate middle ground.

    But if you really worry about it, why not schedule an appointment with your doctor, and have them help explain it to you? They can also help you decide what's the healthiest amount to reduce your calories by, in order to achieve your long-term goals.

    -- Kris

  3. I agree with Kris, above, and with the analogy about fire someone made on Facebook. You are exercising a ton, which means you are burning more of your body's fuel. If you want to keep a fire burning brightly for a long time, you have to keep refueling it. For you, that means you have to feed your body more, which seems counter-intuitive for weight loss, except that like a fire, if you don't continue to refuel your body will stop burning because it has nothing to burn up! That's why the crash super-low-calorie diets only give really short term results: your body just can't handle having nothing to fuel it.
    I second the idea of asking your trainer or your doctor about how much you should be putting into your body but still losing weight at a consistent rate.

    - chelsea