So Monday is fast approaching. Dreaded Monday—though many folks find Monday a dreaded day every week. :) Still, this Monday has seemed so far off in the distance for so long that it’s hard to really believe that it’s here. Except that I do. I’m hemming my pants, writing my lesson outlines, reviewing curriculum, rehearsing what I’ll say, packing my work bag, and aching a little bit more with each task. What does this have to do with food, you might ask? Nothing really. Seriously, this is one of those few entries that might not have much of anything to do with weight, so you might want to skip ahead to whatever entry that may follow.
It’s just that this is my last week home with baby until summer. While I know that summer is not far off and I’ve been supremely fortunate to spend these last fourteen weeks with my child, I don’t feel ready to leave him. Oddly, I’m convinced I’ll be ready come fall at the start of the next school year, a time of new beginnings, but this week has been tinted with wistfulness and more than a faint whiff of sadness. I’d like to say that’s why I ate that package of black licorice—besides, it’s supposed to be super good for your tummy too, right?—but really, it just tasted good.
Still, I’ve been out of sorts and wishing for comfort. I actually did a good job of walking past of a display of cakes at the fancy grocery store yesterday. I thought to myself, “That scrumptious looking chocolate cake isn’t going to let you stay home with baby so put your too-big girl panties on and keep walking.” And I did. I bought a sandwich wrap and small salad instead. So maybe I’m finally starting to show a little food maturity? (I wouldn’t bet on it though.)
I know several people have told me that they were relieved to be back at work, so maybe there’s hope that once I’m there I’ll feel better (much like just jumping into a cold pool rather than easing in). It’s funny, months ago when I was arranging the leave, I thought I’d be itching to return a lot sooner. Really though, the time passed so quickly and now it’s almost time to go back in a couple days. In the meantime, I find myself holding him close and trying to memorize each little smile, his darling cheeks, and those perfect eyelids. Funny how work once felt like the center of my life and in a short time, all my priorities have shifted. I wouldn’t have it any other way.