I'm rediscovering food. Tasting each bite, the flavor seeping into my mouth. Enjoying food again. It's such a simple thing, this whole tasting food thing. It's almost like waking up again after a long nap. With Weight Watchers I tended to eat the same things because those were the things that fit into my daily points plan. I was often empty--not hungry, but empty--throughout the day. I felt empty all the time. In a way, this was good because I rely on food to fill something emotional within myself. But in the last few weeks I feel like I've been finding food all over again. Tasting again. Enjoying again. Of course that makes me happy, but it makes me afraid too. Isn't liking food how I got into this mess in the first place? I'm going to have to watch myself and check myself carefully so that I don't go overboard. If I didn't have a place to easily keep track of my calories, I couldn't eat this way and not gain weight. I have to see those calories tally up to know how to behave. But for now, maybe that's enough. I may not be able to eat normally without keeping close track like other people do, but I can still live and enjoy food in careful portions. It's one more step in the right direction.
On a random note, I cut out on the gym this morning. I've been making it every morning, but yesterday it was really rough getting up. I was exhausted to my core. It was also a long day at work and when I got home, I had a lovely sore throat and headache to keep me company. I ate dinner and promptly passed out on the couch and slept the evening away. Setting my alarm clock for bed, I made the choice to "sleep in" until six this morning to give my body a little more rest. It must have helped because I feel a lot better today, though not quite 100%. However, I felt guilty too as if someone was going to point their finger and chide, "Shame on you." I know no one really would and that I need to give myself some leeway because when you're not feeling well, you're not feeling well. I'll make the session up this weekend though to try to relieve these guilty creepings in the back of my mind. My husband and I are thinking about making one weekday the official "rest" day because while we've made it to the gym, we've been really tired. Thank goodness it's Friday because I need a sleep in day!
Get better soon! Glad to hear you're enjoying food. I've been remedying my eating habits as well by adding more fruits to my shopping list. Munching on a pear or apple in between meals has been really beneficial. Looking forward to your next blog post!
ReplyDelete--Greg
Hey Allegra,
ReplyDeleteYou should check out the pre-prepared (not pre-cooked) dinners available right next door at Fresh and Easy. Dave and I have been LOVING them lately. It is very often just the two of us for dinner these days and they have these GREAT dinners that are 2 for $10 down the 2nd aisle. Things like garlic-herb chicken, adobe beef steaks, bacon wrapped chicken, bbq pork chops etc.... Most are pretty low-calorie. I just don't get the high calorie ones, but all usually can be microwaved and ready in under 10 minutes. Then you have a deliciously marinated and seasoned meal. Just add some veggies (which they also sell as pre-cut and prepared) and there you go!
For us working couples it has been an absolute life-saver and we feel like we are eating gourmet!!
Greg, glad you are eating more fruit. Oddly enough, I think eating too much fruit was part of our problem over the summer. What we should really do is eat a lot more veggis, but eh, fruit tastes sweeter. :)
ReplyDeleteDawn, that's a great idea! I'd kind of forgotten about Fresh and Easy even though we'd gone there to grab a quick dinner once last month. We'll have to go back because I love how they post the calories right on the package so I can look and make a better informed decision before I buy it. With only two of us (and a busy day) I also often don't feel like making some big meal. Maybe we'll be there tonight. :)