All right, let's just jump in with weigh day to get that right out in the open: 201.2. Not good after I was looking at the low 190's a few weeks ago, but it's just the starting point for the new year, not where I'm going to be forever.
Yesterday I got back on my food routine and it was totally and absolutely fine...until the evening. I didn't experience much hunger, probably because I felt all out of whack with sleep and eating. I ate a solid dinner and felt good afterwards for about an hour, after which I was desperate for something more to eat. I wasn't hungry, but I wanted more so very deeply. I resisted, but felt unsettled and finally went to bed unsatisfied. I didn't go to the gym yesterday, but I figured going back to work and restarting my lifestyle change was enough for one day.
Today I hauled my sorry carcass out of bed at the 5 a.m. toll of the alarm clock and went to the gym. It was very difficult, but I did a good workout and I stayed on my food plan as well, but I've felt hungry all day. By dinner tonight, I was ravenous.
I'll admit though that when I came home, I noticed immediately that my husband had brought home some chocolate from work and it seriously took everything in me to not rip into it. As soon as I saw it, I felt like I couldn't go on without it. I'm not exaggerating here, I needed that chocolate. I took a single square of Ghirardelli chocolate from the cupboard instead and ate it slowly and with relish. It was rather disturbing to me how much better my body felt as soon as that substance was ingested. Two days without the chocolate and processed sugar and I'm like a junkie going through withdrawl. I literally got a boost from that one little bit of chocolate and felt noticeably better. I need sugar. Not good, eh?
Anyway, today's been a bit rough but I'm sticking to it and hopefully tomorrow will be a little better. Step by step to get back on track. But oh geez, I really want something, anything more to eat tonight. *Sigh*
***On a random note, I'm going to reset the weeks when I post each entry, so it'll look like Y2 (year 2), W1 (week 1). It's just easier for me to keep track of the weeks if I start over at one. ***