The first week of my yearly restart is almost over. As I type this, I'm still hungry, but that's just par for the course. Today I wore one of my new dresses that I bought for myself at Christmas for the first time and I felt pretty good about that. It was sort of a reminder of why I'm struggling through this process on a day to day basis. I mean, obviously I want to lose weight for many important reasons, but the process of carrying that out can get lost in the daily "why me?'s" and "it's too hard's" that frequently slither into my head. I have to remind myself of my goals constantly and look for progress and small rewards, in this case, wearing a new dress with heels (very short ones) out in public.
Years ago, a friend once asked why I never wore skirts, shorts, or dresses. He comically phrased it as, "What, you got tentacles or something instead of legs?" And in a way I do...mental tentacles that I didn't want anyone to see. Okay, I'll just admit it: my legs look nothing like the image of beauty we see in magazines and on t.v. They've got lumps and bumpy bits, veins, and discolored spots. In other words, they're probably like a lot of people's legs, normal, but not perfect. At any rate, while I still feel self-conscious showing off my legs, I'm trying to see how they could be sexy. They're smooth and I'm seeing some definition in my calves, and by golly, why shouldn't I show them off?
So to wrap this meandering post up, I wore the dress and I felt good in it, but I'm definitely not used to the feel of these types of clothes. I found the heels tricky to drive in even though they were only like an inch tall and the hem of the dress fell just above my knee, which was fine except that that when I sat down it felt like the skirt rose alarmingly high. I kept my legs crossed and folded tightly under me to prevent any wardrobe malfunctions. Getting in and out of the car without flashing anyone was a little tricky! Still, it felt good to dress up a little. It's one of the fun reasons to lose weight. Now I can't wait to try out one of the other two dresses I bought at Christmas time. I just need a reason to wear them!