So I'm anxious. Terribly anxious. About what, you wonder? The unlikelihood of world peace? Weapons of mass destruction? Global warming? Nope, this is totally the wrong blog for any of those important issues. No, I'm anxious about going to the gym for the first time tomorrow.
The gym opened on Wednesday, so we're a little late getting there, but it's been a crazy week with the end of school. Anyway, we're going tomorrow. And I am terrified. I've been to gyms before, so I shouldn't be scared like this, but it's been a long while. I guess I'm just afraid of being embarrassed. I'm worried about what other people will think of me, which is dumb because people go to the gym to work their bodies, not people watch. But what if they think I'm horribly out of shape and fat? What does it matter what anyone thinks? (But it does!)
Tonight I went shopping, rather unsuccessfully, for new gym clothes. Donning the new clothes feels like a suit of armor, though it offers a scant protection of one's self and pride, helping to hide the embarrassment of the under-coordinated.
There are some guidelines to gym clothes for plus size women:
*Anything skin-tight is out. I had a hard time finding pants that weren't close fitting tonight, but no one wants to see that much of my ass when I bend over to do squats, or all the bulges in all the wrong spots...*shudder*
*Just say "no" to velour. It's just wrong. That is all.
*Skip anything with words across the butt. No "sexy" or "love" or heavens, "juicy". I don't want to draw attention to my butt, thank you very much.
*Do make sure they are comfortable and you feel good in them, allowing for freedom of movement.
So, armed with new pants and shoes, I'm all out of reasons not to go. So, that only leaves all the many reasons why I do need to get there. Maybe being so uncomfortable and facing that fear will lead to personal growth. I hope so. *Deep breath* I can do this...