Week 50?! How the heck has fifty weeks gone by? Well, weigh day was fine today at 194.6, putting me at -1.4 for the week. I'm definitely glad for the loss and pleased it's more than a pound, especially after I regained a bit over the weekend with some crazy eating out. Looking back at previous entries, it's a little vexing to note that I weighed in at 194.0 on November 1st. That means that for the last month and a half I really haven't made any progress.
I'm not sure why the holiday season (for us defined as the time from the weekend before Thanksgiving through our wedding anniversary, January 3rd) always leads to so much gain. Maybe it's just easier to blame gain on the holidays than on lax self control and poor eating behavior. In any case, I'll restate my goal for myself: this holiday season, instead of driving myself crazy trying to lose weight or losing all control and just going food crazy, I'm just going to try to maintain my weight at about 194 pounds. No major losses to try to reach, no absolutely crazy behavior leading to massive gains. I guess I just want to shoot for the middle of the road. We'll see how it goes as we get nearer to Christmas.
I'm still hoping that the key to my food sanity this year is two doable objectives: maintain weight and keep exercising. So let's trim that tree, deck those halls, and do a solid jog on the treadmill too. :)
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
W23, Day 3: Workin' It!
Well, this week I'm feeling pretty positive. I've done some good things that I'd like to take a moment to recap:
*I went to the gym everyday for the last six days in a row. I'm feeling a little bummed because I'm not going to go tomorrow or Saturday (we're heading out of town) and I'm already feeling guilty. I know though that the body needs a rest, and though I wish it were only going to be one day, I'm going to be getting in plenty of walking tomorrow because we're going to Golden Gate Park to see the De Young Museum, hopefully the Japanese Tea Garden, and my favorite, the Arboretum. Sounds awesome, yes?
*I've been to two pilates classes and while they're difficult, I think I'm going to be able to keep doing it. That might sound strange, like, "Well, why wouldn't you be able to do it?" but being fat really does make things more difficult--obviously--and when it's too hard, I give up over time. We'll see, but I like the idea of pilates because it's controlled strengthening. I'm getting stronger, one leg lift at a time!
*Last night I wanted some ice-cream really badly. I kept picturing it and craving it. More than that, I wanted the date-like experience that goes with eating ice-cream with my husband. Instead, we went to the gym and I did 35 minutes on the elliptical followed by a reward of some pool and hot tub time. This is really huge because I was able to circumvent a craving (though I'll admit that I'm still thinking about that ice-cream today). Putting it off for a few days may not be much, but it's one step in the right direction.
*I've also been delving into some of the emotional issues that go along with overeating. I'll follow this up at a later date, but my husband and I have been watching a show called "Addicted to Food" and it's really brought up some good discussion pieces that I am still pondering. I guess it's helping me to recognize why I turn to food for comfort and even just to feel okay. I need to bring my thoughts together a bit more before I delve into an entry on this subject.
Overall, I've been working so very hard to make some progress this week. I've exercised harder than I think I've ever exercised in my adult life. I want to make progress and growth. I want to see that damn scale move. I know it won't be the end of the world if I don't lose something this week, but it may feel like it. So, I'll keep moving the next few days and cross my fingers.
*I went to the gym everyday for the last six days in a row. I'm feeling a little bummed because I'm not going to go tomorrow or Saturday (we're heading out of town) and I'm already feeling guilty. I know though that the body needs a rest, and though I wish it were only going to be one day, I'm going to be getting in plenty of walking tomorrow because we're going to Golden Gate Park to see the De Young Museum, hopefully the Japanese Tea Garden, and my favorite, the Arboretum. Sounds awesome, yes?
*I've been to two pilates classes and while they're difficult, I think I'm going to be able to keep doing it. That might sound strange, like, "Well, why wouldn't you be able to do it?" but being fat really does make things more difficult--obviously--and when it's too hard, I give up over time. We'll see, but I like the idea of pilates because it's controlled strengthening. I'm getting stronger, one leg lift at a time!
*Last night I wanted some ice-cream really badly. I kept picturing it and craving it. More than that, I wanted the date-like experience that goes with eating ice-cream with my husband. Instead, we went to the gym and I did 35 minutes on the elliptical followed by a reward of some pool and hot tub time. This is really huge because I was able to circumvent a craving (though I'll admit that I'm still thinking about that ice-cream today). Putting it off for a few days may not be much, but it's one step in the right direction.
*I've also been delving into some of the emotional issues that go along with overeating. I'll follow this up at a later date, but my husband and I have been watching a show called "Addicted to Food" and it's really brought up some good discussion pieces that I am still pondering. I guess it's helping me to recognize why I turn to food for comfort and even just to feel okay. I need to bring my thoughts together a bit more before I delve into an entry on this subject.
Overall, I've been working so very hard to make some progress this week. I've exercised harder than I think I've ever exercised in my adult life. I want to make progress and growth. I want to see that damn scale move. I know it won't be the end of the world if I don't lose something this week, but it may feel like it. So, I'll keep moving the next few days and cross my fingers.
Monday, May 23, 2011
W20, Day 7: One Nation, Overweight
I watched tonight a replaying of a show on CNBC called One Nation, Overweight about the ever growing problem of obesity. The show looked at various aspects of the "disease". I found it extremely interesting that they called obesity a disease, whereas other people might call it a choice. Anyway, they brought up some interesting factoids like:
But carrying on the kid idea, the show focused on how many high schools sell candy. In times of major budget cuts, this is a way for schools to raise money for clubs and sports activities, but at what cost? You might say, it's only a candy bar. But it isn't. Not for kids who are obese. I'll tell you a secret: my senior year of high school I gained thirty pounds. Why? Was it because of what I ate at home? No, not really, we ate pretty decently. The real reason was candy at school. I couldn't stop myself. I remember begging a friend not to sell me candy, and then by first recess begging her to sell it to me. I wouldn't have eaten it if it hadn't been there at school with me. I know, I know, my fault for making the choice and I chose wrongly. But what if I had never had to make that choice? I don't want to ruin it for everyone else, but I truly don't believe in selling junk food to kids--including soda--at school.
Anyway, if you ever have a chance to watch the show, I highly recommend it. I got a bit uncomfortable when one CEO said that he wouldn't hire anyone who was obese if he could get away with it because of the greater health care costs of that employee. The counter argument was that policies like that discriminate against people unfairly, saying: "[Obesity] is a complex issue...and it's short-sided to say you choose or don't chose health," meaning that there are plenty of people out there like me trying to choose what's right, but struggling along the way. Is it fair to discriminate hiring people like me? Of course I have to say "No"! But what about the employer's added costs? Still other employers are doing all sorts of incentive programs that seem to be having good effect with helping their employees lose weight and be more healthful. Maybe that's the way to go?
In other news, good reader, guess what? I'm finally going to do it, to take the plunge...to join out local gym. I've been waiting for our new local gym to open and at long last, it's opening on June 1st, one day before I get out for summer break. Coincidence? I think not!
Here's a link to the show information:
http://www.cnbc.com/id/36073283/
- At the current rate of increase, within 10 years 42% of the U.S. population will be obese. That's a terrible, huge number!
- This current generation of kids may be the first generation in our country to have shorter lifespans than their parents.
But carrying on the kid idea, the show focused on how many high schools sell candy. In times of major budget cuts, this is a way for schools to raise money for clubs and sports activities, but at what cost? You might say, it's only a candy bar. But it isn't. Not for kids who are obese. I'll tell you a secret: my senior year of high school I gained thirty pounds. Why? Was it because of what I ate at home? No, not really, we ate pretty decently. The real reason was candy at school. I couldn't stop myself. I remember begging a friend not to sell me candy, and then by first recess begging her to sell it to me. I wouldn't have eaten it if it hadn't been there at school with me. I know, I know, my fault for making the choice and I chose wrongly. But what if I had never had to make that choice? I don't want to ruin it for everyone else, but I truly don't believe in selling junk food to kids--including soda--at school.
Anyway, if you ever have a chance to watch the show, I highly recommend it. I got a bit uncomfortable when one CEO said that he wouldn't hire anyone who was obese if he could get away with it because of the greater health care costs of that employee. The counter argument was that policies like that discriminate against people unfairly, saying: "[Obesity] is a complex issue...and it's short-sided to say you choose or don't chose health," meaning that there are plenty of people out there like me trying to choose what's right, but struggling along the way. Is it fair to discriminate hiring people like me? Of course I have to say "No"! But what about the employer's added costs? Still other employers are doing all sorts of incentive programs that seem to be having good effect with helping their employees lose weight and be more healthful. Maybe that's the way to go?
In other news, good reader, guess what? I'm finally going to do it, to take the plunge...to join out local gym. I've been waiting for our new local gym to open and at long last, it's opening on June 1st, one day before I get out for summer break. Coincidence? I think not!
Here's a link to the show information:
http://www.cnbc.com/id/36073283/
Monday, April 18, 2011
W15, Day 7: Cheesecake
Okay, I want to say outright that I'm not looking forward to this weigh day, but I'm ready for it to come so that I can move forward for a new week. I have to own that I made some poor food choices this weekend. It's going to sound awful in the black type as I write this, but I can only say that I truly did try to limit the amount of the poor food choices I made, but I was in a different environment with temptations outside my realm of ordinary. So, this weekend I had two absolutely delicious pancakes, a good deal of caramel kettlecorn, a carnitas burrito, and a good deal more cheesecake than was good for me. Oh, and some chocolate frosting on a spoon tonight. Yeesh.
I guess I am of two minds about my food transgressions, calling to my mind the famous introductory sentence, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness..." And so it was. It was wonderful to see family this weekend and to be home and just to take a break for the severity of my daily food grind (I really gotta get back into looking for new recipes to take some of the dull out of the diet, but that's another post!) and eat like a normal person, but it also reminded me that I don't eat like a normal person and that's why I'm at the weight I am. When I am exposed to tempting, different food, my brain kicks into high gear with a big, "WANT!!! GIMMIE GIMMIE!" in huge neon letters. I tried to be wise in the portions I was eating, if not the foods themselves, but that doesn't necessarily mean I really did a good job.
But it felt so good to eat good tasting things again. So good. Too good. I'm so frustrated on a deeper level. Beneath the food satisfaction is an anger at myself that I can't control my relationship with food, my wanting. My inability to resist temptation exposes the true fact that what I am doing with WW is really only controlling behaviors in a superficial way, it's not changing the underlying problems that have made me fat to begin with. Or, I can't say 'begin with' since I feel I've been this way for forever. WW says that if you go on long enough this way, the true change will happen in the brain as you build new pathways, replacement behaviors, and experiences. But I'm afraid. Deep down I'm afraid it will always be this way. I see this struggle tunneling down through the years of my life. Almost makes you want to run out for a piece of cheesecake, doesn't it?
I guess I am of two minds about my food transgressions, calling to my mind the famous introductory sentence, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness..." And so it was. It was wonderful to see family this weekend and to be home and just to take a break for the severity of my daily food grind (I really gotta get back into looking for new recipes to take some of the dull out of the diet, but that's another post!) and eat like a normal person, but it also reminded me that I don't eat like a normal person and that's why I'm at the weight I am. When I am exposed to tempting, different food, my brain kicks into high gear with a big, "WANT!!! GIMMIE GIMMIE!" in huge neon letters. I tried to be wise in the portions I was eating, if not the foods themselves, but that doesn't necessarily mean I really did a good job.
But it felt so good to eat good tasting things again. So good. Too good. I'm so frustrated on a deeper level. Beneath the food satisfaction is an anger at myself that I can't control my relationship with food, my wanting. My inability to resist temptation exposes the true fact that what I am doing with WW is really only controlling behaviors in a superficial way, it's not changing the underlying problems that have made me fat to begin with. Or, I can't say 'begin with' since I feel I've been this way for forever. WW says that if you go on long enough this way, the true change will happen in the brain as you build new pathways, replacement behaviors, and experiences. But I'm afraid. Deep down I'm afraid it will always be this way. I see this struggle tunneling down through the years of my life. Almost makes you want to run out for a piece of cheesecake, doesn't it?
Sunday, January 9, 2011
W1, Day 6; Green Soup
Today we went to the grocery store and I stocked our fridge with all the basic necessities and a whole lot of produce as well. I've found it's always easier to stay on track when there are several options in the fridge than when it is empty. An empty fridge pretty much equals eating out for us. I picked four recipes to try this week, the first one being a vegetable soup for lunch. It was.....interesting. It looked like every school child's worst cafeteria nightmare. It looked like I had taken the Jolly Green Giant and run him through the food processor. It looked bright green with lumps and bumps. Yum, eh? I can tell you're just salivating in envy at the thought. But, it tasted all right--pretty okay, actually, and while texturally it was a bit different, I might actually try making it again. Here's a picture, though it doesn't actually do the color justice since it looks bright green in person.
Tomorrow is the last day of this week and on Tuesday I'm going to my first Weight Watchers meeting here in town (we moved this autumn). I'm actually quite nervous, scared even. It's ridiculous. One might be afraid of charging lions, car accidents, earthquakes, global warming--and I'm scared to go to a simple meeting. I've attended Weight Watchers off and on for the last three years so I know the meetings are valuable and help you to stay on track. It's not the discussing weight issues with other people, it's that it means change. Eeeeeek! Change! Oh heavens!
A couple of months ago Weight Watchers drastically changed their points program around, moving the focus away from calories (which I was a pro at counting) to carbohydrates and protein. Under the old set up, I could pick up pretty much any item at the grocery store, glance at it's nutrition label, and know how it fit in (or didn't) in my daily/weekly plan. Now you have to use a calculator to input the components to figure it out. The foods that I like to eat (in moderation) like rice, potatoes, yogurt, granola bars all cost more daily points than they used to, in some cases by a lot. Balancing this, fruits are now free foods (foods that don't cost points), which is wonderful since it encourages me to eat more fruit, but it also means I have to let go of some carbs during the day too. Huh. I realize that someone might be out there scratching their head at this point in a confused, "So what?" so I can sum it up this way: I know a certain system very well and it has worked for me in the past. Learning a new and different system of eating sounds simple to most people, but it is intimidating to me. It means relearning what I know and a period of transition. But hey, I am looking for ways and reasons why this time things are going to be different. I have to break away from the loss and gain train--maybe this is my stop?
A couple of months ago Weight Watchers drastically changed their points program around, moving the focus away from calories (which I was a pro at counting) to carbohydrates and protein. Under the old set up, I could pick up pretty much any item at the grocery store, glance at it's nutrition label, and know how it fit in (or didn't) in my daily/weekly plan. Now you have to use a calculator to input the components to figure it out. The foods that I like to eat (in moderation) like rice, potatoes, yogurt, granola bars all cost more daily points than they used to, in some cases by a lot. Balancing this, fruits are now free foods (foods that don't cost points), which is wonderful since it encourages me to eat more fruit, but it also means I have to let go of some carbs during the day too. Huh. I realize that someone might be out there scratching their head at this point in a confused, "So what?" so I can sum it up this way: I know a certain system very well and it has worked for me in the past. Learning a new and different system of eating sounds simple to most people, but it is intimidating to me. It means relearning what I know and a period of transition. But hey, I am looking for ways and reasons why this time things are going to be different. I have to break away from the loss and gain train--maybe this is my stop?
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Week 1, Day 3; Goals!
Woke up in the middle of the night hungry...really hungry...but eventually sleepy won out and I stayed put in bed. I'm staying for a few days with family and I don't think they'd really understand me digging in their fridge for carrots at 4 a.m. Felt nauseated during the morning, probably from hunger, so I had a heartier breakfast. Today we went as a family to the movie theater, which was quite an experience to take in the sights, the smells--of the popcorn that is--and still worse than that buttered temptation was a change in routine that placed the movie squarely during lunchtime. A postponed lunch by two hours when my stomach was already aching was daunting indeed. But, I made it though the movie, cushioned by gum, confusion about the plot line, and a growing need to use the restroom that kept me from focusing on my empty tummy. I felt proud to make it though the quick trip to the grocery store afterwards, silently repeating the mantra, "This is fuel, this is just fuel, fuel, fuel, fuel," as I ogled the bagels and Chinese food. Back at home, I enjoyed some fruit salad, yogurt, and a piece of bread. One thing I have to say about starting to diet, I think I may be appreciating the food I eat more. I savored each and every bite, savored the texture of the bread, enjoyed it to the extreme.
But, moving right along and switching topics, today I wanted to set forth some goals for myself. Weight Watchers says that you should focus on losing one to two pounds a week and I do feel that's very doable. If I average one pound a week, then in a year I would be 50 pounds lighter (giving myself a couple of weeks there where I don't lose anything). The first number that comes to mind about where I want to be is 199 pounds. I've stood on that brink, between being on the two hundred pound side and the one hundred pound side and promised myself to never step over again--and here I am again. The times I've reached that number I've felt proud and in control of myself and I want to regain that. After that, 175 is the next critical number that comes to mind because for my body, that's the line in b.m.i. that divides 'overweight' from 'obese,' a label that has cut into my heart since it was placed there in a 10th grade P.E. class. Not that I haven't earned the label, I'm certainly not denying that responsibility, but it's just that I've spent half my life longing to be "normal," (Long discussions could ensue here, but I'll save them for another day). I've spent almost half my life being obese and I just feel ready for change. Ultimately, I'm shooting for somewhere around 150 pounds or 150-175 pounds. I have been asked, isn't that selling myself short? Shouldn't I shoot for thinner? In truth, I don't envision myself as a slim person. Is that wrong? I'll never be slender or tiny or all the other descriptions that we mark as beautiful, and I don't feel I need to be. I'm okay with having some hips and curves....just maybe a bit less. If I follow the plan faithfully I should be able to be close to my goal of 175 pounds by this time next year. I feel ready for the challenge.
But, moving right along and switching topics, today I wanted to set forth some goals for myself. Weight Watchers says that you should focus on losing one to two pounds a week and I do feel that's very doable. If I average one pound a week, then in a year I would be 50 pounds lighter (giving myself a couple of weeks there where I don't lose anything). The first number that comes to mind about where I want to be is 199 pounds. I've stood on that brink, between being on the two hundred pound side and the one hundred pound side and promised myself to never step over again--and here I am again. The times I've reached that number I've felt proud and in control of myself and I want to regain that. After that, 175 is the next critical number that comes to mind because for my body, that's the line in b.m.i. that divides 'overweight' from 'obese,' a label that has cut into my heart since it was placed there in a 10th grade P.E. class. Not that I haven't earned the label, I'm certainly not denying that responsibility, but it's just that I've spent half my life longing to be "normal," (Long discussions could ensue here, but I'll save them for another day). I've spent almost half my life being obese and I just feel ready for change. Ultimately, I'm shooting for somewhere around 150 pounds or 150-175 pounds. I have been asked, isn't that selling myself short? Shouldn't I shoot for thinner? In truth, I don't envision myself as a slim person. Is that wrong? I'll never be slender or tiny or all the other descriptions that we mark as beautiful, and I don't feel I need to be. I'm okay with having some hips and curves....just maybe a bit less. If I follow the plan faithfully I should be able to be close to my goal of 175 pounds by this time next year. I feel ready for the challenge.
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