W53, Day 7: New Goals

Well, obviously I'm missed a blog entry or two.  I entirely meant to write an entry on January fourth and I've even started mapping out what I wanted to say, but I've been so busy bouncing all around this last week that somehow I just didn't get to it.  Ah well!

My meandering journey towards Weigh Loss

Worse though, I let myself eat all over the map for this last week.  I knew I shouldn't.  It's not like I don't know what I'm not supposed to eat, but once I get off my routine, it's so very difficult to return and to get my brain in check.  This morning I weighed in at 201.7, but I'm hoping it's a bit lower tomorrow on weigh day as I total the final effects of this holiday season.

Today as I walked through the door at work, I knew I was also walking through the door back into my healthy lifestyle.  It scares me how easily I fall back into old patterns of behavior.  We ate out a lot in the last three weeks, and worse, I almost constantly grazed and munched.  I ate dinner, and then dessert, and then snack, and then topped it off with alcohol.  I love wine and I allowed myself to drink it freely without regard to calories.  I had copious amounts of sugar throughout the day.  I skipped out on the gym (in my defense, we were out of town for a big chunk of the time).  I gave up any pretense of control.

On the other hand, maybe sometimes that's needed.  Obviously, it's not okay to gain eight pounds in only a few weeks.  But I've read that constant control and self-discipline is like a muscle, it tires over time.  It's part of why diets don't work is because people can't exercise that control forever and it explodes on them in the form of binges or falling off the wagon...or cheesecake.  I'm not trying to excuse my behavior, but I can understand how this could be so.  I get so tired and having to be on my guard around food, to have to be so very careful.  Sometimes it feels good to let things go.  Regardless, I didn't meet my goals for this holiday season, but I'm still ahead of where I was last year by a significant amount and I'm going to let it go at that.  I'm not going to beat myself up over it, but rather focus on getting back to my goals, one day at a time.

So, it's definitely time to set some new goals.  Last year I wanted to lose 50 pounds and ended up at around 30, which is probably more reasonable.  I began my blog with the first weigh on January 4th in at 229.0 and ended up in the 190's by the last week of the year.  This year I would like to lose another 30 pounds from the 200 mark, putting me at 170 pounds.  That doesn't really sound that ambitious, seeing as I'll still be overweight at 170, but I don't envision myself as super thin or a size 4 or anything.  I just want to get out of the obese range, build muscle, and be healthy (and getting off my blood pressure medicine would be great too).

To sum it up, this year's specific weight goal is a loss of 30 pounds from my current weight of around 200, or a weigh in of 170 pounds.

I feel this is an attainable goal and it would be amazing.  Bring it on, year!