So I've been thinking, pondering, dreaming about, discussing, and deciding why I need food so much. Despite all the negative outcomes and feelings, food is always right there by my side. Why? I think it might break down to this:
What does food do for me?
1. It alleviates pain, fear, and discomfort. In the show I've been watching, Addicted to Food, the counselors relate that a lot of over-eaters are avoiding trauma and long-time pain. We all have pain and our ways of dealing with it. I don't mean this in a I-had-a-fight-with-someone-so-go-eat-a-donut kind of way. I honestly don't do that. No, it's much more subtle. For instance, in a social situation, I want so desperately to fit in and be social, but I feel awkward and out-of-place. I'm unhappy. The solution? Take a chip and look busy munching on it. In my brain it says, "See? I've having fun, I belong here." In the show, they portray food addiction, or any addiction for that matter, as a close hug that we turn to for comfort. I can see that in myself. If I am feeling tired, or down, sad, lonely, etc. food is right there, willing to be my best friend and make me feel better.
2. It transports me away from reality. I am an expert at escaping myself and my reality. Ever since I can remember, or somewhere around third grade, I've imagined and invented and fantasized about a different reality. A realm of distinct good and evil (I'm the good, of course) where I am a different person. If this seems weird, then think of it as a sort of Beyonce reinventing herself as Sasha Fierce kind of thing. I've always imagined the imaginary me as a mythic heroine: she's beautiful (and thin), powerful, confident, intelligent and perceptive, unafraid, and in other words, many of the things I'm not. Food is just another escape. It transports and transcends me into something that feels pure and happy. So, for example, those dreaded Friday Treats at work. Why are they so hard to resist? Because by then in the week, I'm tired and stressed and in general discomfort. Enter food and it takes me away for however the briefest moment, I'm some other blissful place.
3. It enhances an already okay experience into pleasure. Take any good thing--like a date night--and add food for instant extra-goodness.
4. It relieves boredom. I saved this one for last because it is huge. I think it may be one of the major, over-all, catch-all reasons for why I eat. I want something to do. I get tired of the overall routine of life. Rather than join a club or something (part of the problem is that I don't know WHAT to do), I decide I want something to eat. Instant pleasure and action. That's why going to the gym last week when I wanted ice-cream was an acceptable alternative. I certainly wasn't hungry. But I wanted action of some sort---so obviously, ice-cream, right?
Dear reader, you might be wondering at the obviousness of all these reasons, and yet I tell you that I am having a small series of revelations this week. It's like a paradigm shift in my head. I'm not eating because I'm a bad person. It's not because I'm just disgusting and lack self-control. It's not because there is really something wrong with me. It's because I'm getting some very powerful things out of that food. To put it simply, it makes me feel better than any of the negative consequences. It makes me feel pleasure. It makes me feel.
Now the real work is figuring out how to separate the food from the living. I think I wrote somewhere in this blog that food is life. But maybe that's a huge part of the problem. Life is life. Food is just sustenance. Maybe. I'm still working it all out, but let me know if you have any insights. What is the role of food in life?
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
W23, Day 3: Workin' It!
Well, this week I'm feeling pretty positive. I've done some good things that I'd like to take a moment to recap:
*I went to the gym everyday for the last six days in a row. I'm feeling a little bummed because I'm not going to go tomorrow or Saturday (we're heading out of town) and I'm already feeling guilty. I know though that the body needs a rest, and though I wish it were only going to be one day, I'm going to be getting in plenty of walking tomorrow because we're going to Golden Gate Park to see the De Young Museum, hopefully the Japanese Tea Garden, and my favorite, the Arboretum. Sounds awesome, yes?
*I've been to two pilates classes and while they're difficult, I think I'm going to be able to keep doing it. That might sound strange, like, "Well, why wouldn't you be able to do it?" but being fat really does make things more difficult--obviously--and when it's too hard, I give up over time. We'll see, but I like the idea of pilates because it's controlled strengthening. I'm getting stronger, one leg lift at a time!
*Last night I wanted some ice-cream really badly. I kept picturing it and craving it. More than that, I wanted the date-like experience that goes with eating ice-cream with my husband. Instead, we went to the gym and I did 35 minutes on the elliptical followed by a reward of some pool and hot tub time. This is really huge because I was able to circumvent a craving (though I'll admit that I'm still thinking about that ice-cream today). Putting it off for a few days may not be much, but it's one step in the right direction.
*I've also been delving into some of the emotional issues that go along with overeating. I'll follow this up at a later date, but my husband and I have been watching a show called "Addicted to Food" and it's really brought up some good discussion pieces that I am still pondering. I guess it's helping me to recognize why I turn to food for comfort and even just to feel okay. I need to bring my thoughts together a bit more before I delve into an entry on this subject.
Overall, I've been working so very hard to make some progress this week. I've exercised harder than I think I've ever exercised in my adult life. I want to make progress and growth. I want to see that damn scale move. I know it won't be the end of the world if I don't lose something this week, but it may feel like it. So, I'll keep moving the next few days and cross my fingers.
*I went to the gym everyday for the last six days in a row. I'm feeling a little bummed because I'm not going to go tomorrow or Saturday (we're heading out of town) and I'm already feeling guilty. I know though that the body needs a rest, and though I wish it were only going to be one day, I'm going to be getting in plenty of walking tomorrow because we're going to Golden Gate Park to see the De Young Museum, hopefully the Japanese Tea Garden, and my favorite, the Arboretum. Sounds awesome, yes?
*I've been to two pilates classes and while they're difficult, I think I'm going to be able to keep doing it. That might sound strange, like, "Well, why wouldn't you be able to do it?" but being fat really does make things more difficult--obviously--and when it's too hard, I give up over time. We'll see, but I like the idea of pilates because it's controlled strengthening. I'm getting stronger, one leg lift at a time!
*Last night I wanted some ice-cream really badly. I kept picturing it and craving it. More than that, I wanted the date-like experience that goes with eating ice-cream with my husband. Instead, we went to the gym and I did 35 minutes on the elliptical followed by a reward of some pool and hot tub time. This is really huge because I was able to circumvent a craving (though I'll admit that I'm still thinking about that ice-cream today). Putting it off for a few days may not be much, but it's one step in the right direction.
*I've also been delving into some of the emotional issues that go along with overeating. I'll follow this up at a later date, but my husband and I have been watching a show called "Addicted to Food" and it's really brought up some good discussion pieces that I am still pondering. I guess it's helping me to recognize why I turn to food for comfort and even just to feel okay. I need to bring my thoughts together a bit more before I delve into an entry on this subject.
Overall, I've been working so very hard to make some progress this week. I've exercised harder than I think I've ever exercised in my adult life. I want to make progress and growth. I want to see that damn scale move. I know it won't be the end of the world if I don't lose something this week, but it may feel like it. So, I'll keep moving the next few days and cross my fingers.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
W23, Day 1: Exhilaration and despair
I've made two more visits to the gym since that first time on Saturday. It's definitely a lot easier to get to the parking lot and through the doors. I feel a lot more comfortable getting there. Sunday I did the same thing as Saturday: 30 minutes on the elliptical and then a little bit of time on the weight machines. I was definitely sore in my arms, shoulders, upper chest, and abs. Yesterday I did a Zumba class. I don't know what it is about Zumba. I want to do it really badly because I've always thought it would be fun. Yet I have the damnest time doing it. I feel all a jumble of feet and hips and arms. I tried it a few times at our old gym and didn't love it, and then with a good friend once, which was better because I enjoyed the company, but it still didn't click.
Maybe the problem is that I am expecting to be okay-ish at it from the beginning, but I'm really not. My butt doesn't sling from side to side, my hips don't shake. I was really impressed by the instructor's posterior though...she was sliding from side to side and each cheek moved almost independently of themselves. I was like, "DAMN, girl!" I'm sort of torn because I'm debating whether to try the Zumba again tomorrow--because I don't want to just give up--or to try the 'Toning and Tightening' class right after instead. I guess it just depends on me to decide what my goals are here: Zumba seems like it's about cardio work with some core strengthening, whereas toning is about, well, toning muscles. I think maybe the latter is what I'm more concerned about. I'd really like to build muscles and strength. This morning I'm going to try pilates; we'll see how it goes! On one other note, I'm kind of liking the elliptical machine. It's like jogging, but I don't feel the pound, pound, pound of my body hitting the pavement. Way more comfortable! So this is the positive, feeling-good part of this blog post.
Here's the negative: weigh day. I weighed in this morning at 209.0. Again. For the second week in row. Plateau Hell indeed. To be entirely honest, I'm starting to despair. It's been two months pinging around in the same place. I'm definitely hanging out in angst city here. In fact, I felt angry this morning. Angry at myself because I'm not going anywhere, angry at WW, just irrationally angry. Then I felt sad and upset. I'm putting in effort, but it's not enough. It's not what it was in the beginning. It's my fault I'm not losing because I'm not pushing myself as hard. And I feel deprived (even though I'm really not). When I'm losing weight, it feels worth it. When I'm not losing, it just sucks. So, anyway, I'll keep this paragraph short, but you get the general sense of where my mind is at. I feel great about starting to work out. I feel terrible about my weight. The agony and the ecstasy of it all. Please, please, let me lose in this next week.
Maybe the problem is that I am expecting to be okay-ish at it from the beginning, but I'm really not. My butt doesn't sling from side to side, my hips don't shake. I was really impressed by the instructor's posterior though...she was sliding from side to side and each cheek moved almost independently of themselves. I was like, "DAMN, girl!" I'm sort of torn because I'm debating whether to try the Zumba again tomorrow--because I don't want to just give up--or to try the 'Toning and Tightening' class right after instead. I guess it just depends on me to decide what my goals are here: Zumba seems like it's about cardio work with some core strengthening, whereas toning is about, well, toning muscles. I think maybe the latter is what I'm more concerned about. I'd really like to build muscles and strength. This morning I'm going to try pilates; we'll see how it goes! On one other note, I'm kind of liking the elliptical machine. It's like jogging, but I don't feel the pound, pound, pound of my body hitting the pavement. Way more comfortable! So this is the positive, feeling-good part of this blog post.
Here's the negative: weigh day. I weighed in this morning at 209.0. Again. For the second week in row. Plateau Hell indeed. To be entirely honest, I'm starting to despair. It's been two months pinging around in the same place. I'm definitely hanging out in angst city here. In fact, I felt angry this morning. Angry at myself because I'm not going anywhere, angry at WW, just irrationally angry. Then I felt sad and upset. I'm putting in effort, but it's not enough. It's not what it was in the beginning. It's my fault I'm not losing because I'm not pushing myself as hard. And I feel deprived (even though I'm really not). When I'm losing weight, it feels worth it. When I'm not losing, it just sucks. So, anyway, I'll keep this paragraph short, but you get the general sense of where my mind is at. I feel great about starting to work out. I feel terrible about my weight. The agony and the ecstasy of it all. Please, please, let me lose in this next week.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
W22, Day 5: Gym recap
Yesterday I was so anxious about heading to the gym. And this morning. And by noon when I was tying up my shoes, grabbing my water bottle and towel, and heading out the door. Arriving at a very full parking lot for a Sunday at noon, we ambled inside the building and scanned in. Some of my nervousness dissipated just by walking in the door, and some of it fell away as my husband and I wandered around the premises. I felt better when I knew where the group exercise room is, the locker rooms and bathroom, the pool, etc.
Then, trying to be noticed as little as possible, I slipped onto an elliptical machine and got busy. Once I got going, it was fine. I noticed several overweight and obese people quietly going about their business and that helped too because I didn't feel like I stood out so much. I pumped away at the elliptical for thirty minutes, which isn't really long, but it was a bit of a push for me to keep going. After about three minutes, I could feel the tired dragging in my legs. Obviously I'm way out of shape! But I kept going and I felt good about myself when I got to my goal of thirty minutes.
After, I wandered over to the weight machines. I have to thank my husband a lot. I was afraid to get on the machines because I was afraid of doing it wrong and looking like an idiot in front of the 'serious' gym folks. So the dear man went with me, machine by machine, and demonstrated it first and helped me adjust the weights. Then I did those for awhile. I will feel better when I get to meet with a trainer to help me figure out what specifically I should be doing, but since the gym just opened, the list of people itching for trainer time is long. The trainer offices were hoppin'! But if they don't get back to me next week, I'll ask again because it'll be good for me to have help to focus on my fitness goals--build muscle, get stronger, lose weight.
We're going to go back to the gym tomorrow. I may just do the same thing as today, adding a trip to the pool afterward. I remember long ago at our old gym, the trainer told me that even if I didn't do a huge workout every day, at least come and do lower key activities to get in the habit of going to the gym. It's too easy to turn it into something too difficult and intimidating and then stop going. So, all in all, my back hurts and I was starvingly hungry today, but I feel pretty good and much less uncomfortable. Hopefully tomorrow'll be even better. Adelante!
Then, trying to be noticed as little as possible, I slipped onto an elliptical machine and got busy. Once I got going, it was fine. I noticed several overweight and obese people quietly going about their business and that helped too because I didn't feel like I stood out so much. I pumped away at the elliptical for thirty minutes, which isn't really long, but it was a bit of a push for me to keep going. After about three minutes, I could feel the tired dragging in my legs. Obviously I'm way out of shape! But I kept going and I felt good about myself when I got to my goal of thirty minutes.
After, I wandered over to the weight machines. I have to thank my husband a lot. I was afraid to get on the machines because I was afraid of doing it wrong and looking like an idiot in front of the 'serious' gym folks. So the dear man went with me, machine by machine, and demonstrated it first and helped me adjust the weights. Then I did those for awhile. I will feel better when I get to meet with a trainer to help me figure out what specifically I should be doing, but since the gym just opened, the list of people itching for trainer time is long. The trainer offices were hoppin'! But if they don't get back to me next week, I'll ask again because it'll be good for me to have help to focus on my fitness goals--build muscle, get stronger, lose weight.
We're going to go back to the gym tomorrow. I may just do the same thing as today, adding a trip to the pool afterward. I remember long ago at our old gym, the trainer told me that even if I didn't do a huge workout every day, at least come and do lower key activities to get in the habit of going to the gym. It's too easy to turn it into something too difficult and intimidating and then stop going. So, all in all, my back hurts and I was starvingly hungry today, but I feel pretty good and much less uncomfortable. Hopefully tomorrow'll be even better. Adelante!
Friday, June 3, 2011
W22, Day 4: Anxiety
So I'm anxious. Terribly anxious. About what, you wonder? The unlikelihood of world peace? Weapons of mass destruction? Global warming? Nope, this is totally the wrong blog for any of those important issues. No, I'm anxious about going to the gym for the first time tomorrow.
The gym opened on Wednesday, so we're a little late getting there, but it's been a crazy week with the end of school. Anyway, we're going tomorrow. And I am terrified. I've been to gyms before, so I shouldn't be scared like this, but it's been a long while. I guess I'm just afraid of being embarrassed. I'm worried about what other people will think of me, which is dumb because people go to the gym to work their bodies, not people watch. But what if they think I'm horribly out of shape and fat? What does it matter what anyone thinks? (But it does!)
Tonight I went shopping, rather unsuccessfully, for new gym clothes. Donning the new clothes feels like a suit of armor, though it offers a scant protection of one's self and pride, helping to hide the embarrassment of the under-coordinated.
There are some guidelines to gym clothes for plus size women:
*Anything skin-tight is out. I had a hard time finding pants that weren't close fitting tonight, but no one wants to see that much of my ass when I bend over to do squats, or all the bulges in all the wrong spots...*shudder*
*Just say "no" to velour. It's just wrong. That is all.
*Skip anything with words across the butt. No "sexy" or "love" or heavens, "juicy". I don't want to draw attention to my butt, thank you very much.
*Do make sure they are comfortable and you feel good in them, allowing for freedom of movement.
So, armed with new pants and shoes, I'm all out of reasons not to go. So, that only leaves all the many reasons why I do need to get there. Maybe being so uncomfortable and facing that fear will lead to personal growth. I hope so. *Deep breath* I can do this...
The gym opened on Wednesday, so we're a little late getting there, but it's been a crazy week with the end of school. Anyway, we're going tomorrow. And I am terrified. I've been to gyms before, so I shouldn't be scared like this, but it's been a long while. I guess I'm just afraid of being embarrassed. I'm worried about what other people will think of me, which is dumb because people go to the gym to work their bodies, not people watch. But what if they think I'm horribly out of shape and fat? What does it matter what anyone thinks? (But it does!)
Tonight I went shopping, rather unsuccessfully, for new gym clothes. Donning the new clothes feels like a suit of armor, though it offers a scant protection of one's self and pride, helping to hide the embarrassment of the under-coordinated.
There are some guidelines to gym clothes for plus size women:
*Anything skin-tight is out. I had a hard time finding pants that weren't close fitting tonight, but no one wants to see that much of my ass when I bend over to do squats, or all the bulges in all the wrong spots...*shudder*
*Just say "no" to velour. It's just wrong. That is all.
*Skip anything with words across the butt. No "sexy" or "love" or heavens, "juicy". I don't want to draw attention to my butt, thank you very much.
*Do make sure they are comfortable and you feel good in them, allowing for freedom of movement.
So, armed with new pants and shoes, I'm all out of reasons not to go. So, that only leaves all the many reasons why I do need to get there. Maybe being so uncomfortable and facing that fear will lead to personal growth. I hope so. *Deep breath* I can do this...
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
W22, Day 1: Plateau Hell
I feel like a giant ping pong ball. Well, actually I feel like a beach ball most of the time, but in the last two months I can't seem to escape the depressing ups and delightful downs, again, and again, and again. Lose a little. Gain a little. Lose, gain, lose, gain. Ping, pong, ping, pong! Welcome to Plateau Hell. Pull up a chair, grab a donut, and don't eat for the rest of the day.
It wasn't going to be a good weigh day. I think Sunday's score shocked me. After giving the extra sudden pounds a couple days to "settle" I weighed in today at 209.0, which while not nearly as bad, isn't very good. For the math folks out there, it's a gain of 1.6 pounds. *Sigh* So, what's the problem? I was doing so well for weeks and weeks. Here's what I've been thinking:
*I've gotten tired, lazy, frustrated, etc., etc., etc.
*More importantly, my environment has been different with celebrations for my birthday, Mother's Day, family events, and tons of food at work in celebration of the year coming to an end (The work year, not the Rapture...I work in a school. :)
*The lovely weekend beach trip filled with all the snacky foods I love and avoid normally was great fun, but didn't help with weight loss (not that I expected it to!).
I think what I need to do is two-fold:
*The gym opens tomorrow. I need to be way more active and shake my toosh up a bit. I need to arrange to meet with a trainer to help design an exercise program for me to start with.
*Get through this week with all of it's "Last Day" food trials and then enjoy the time at home, away from all the outside food for awhile. I'm looking forward to summer.
It wasn't going to be a good weigh day. I think Sunday's score shocked me. After giving the extra sudden pounds a couple days to "settle" I weighed in today at 209.0, which while not nearly as bad, isn't very good. For the math folks out there, it's a gain of 1.6 pounds. *Sigh* So, what's the problem? I was doing so well for weeks and weeks. Here's what I've been thinking:
*I've gotten tired, lazy, frustrated, etc., etc., etc.
*More importantly, my environment has been different with celebrations for my birthday, Mother's Day, family events, and tons of food at work in celebration of the year coming to an end (The work year, not the Rapture...I work in a school. :)
*The lovely weekend beach trip filled with all the snacky foods I love and avoid normally was great fun, but didn't help with weight loss (not that I expected it to!).
I think what I need to do is two-fold:
*The gym opens tomorrow. I need to be way more active and shake my toosh up a bit. I need to arrange to meet with a trainer to help design an exercise program for me to start with.
*Get through this week with all of it's "Last Day" food trials and then enjoy the time at home, away from all the outside food for awhile. I'm looking forward to summer.
Monday, May 30, 2011
W21, Day 7: Uh....that doesn't seem right...
We got back yesterday from a lovely trip with friends up the coast. We had food, and fun, and more food...so I expected some gain. While I did eat a little fruit in the two days we were gone, I didn't eat any vegetables and I snacked liberally on some 'no-no' foods like Cheez-its, chocolate chip cookies, and yes, some alcohol. I expected that I would gain a pound or two. Maybe three. Not good.
So I got home and stepped onto the scale. When I'd left for the weekend I was at 207. When I got back two days later I was at 214. I'd gained 7 pounds in two days! Is that even possible? That means I consumed roughly 24,500 calories in just two days! I honestly didn't/don't think I ate that much, despite overindulging. The crazy thing is that we didn't even eat out at any restaurants or fast food places. Today I've been giving my weight time to work itself out in the end (if you get my drift). Obviously I need to hit up the gym and fast.
Gee, I'm not worried though because I can easily work off those calories with:
*1,400 minutes on the elliptical machine, or
*3,000 minutes of gardening, or
*3,600 minutes of jumping jacks, or
*4,000 minutes of showering (that's a lot of water!), or
*4,000 minutes of sex (Hmm...I don't know why it's weird that sex and showering use the same amount of calories, but it is.)
In any case, I'm not burning much sitting here on the couch, so off I go!
So I got home and stepped onto the scale. When I'd left for the weekend I was at 207. When I got back two days later I was at 214. I'd gained 7 pounds in two days! Is that even possible? That means I consumed roughly 24,500 calories in just two days! I honestly didn't/don't think I ate that much, despite overindulging. The crazy thing is that we didn't even eat out at any restaurants or fast food places. Today I've been giving my weight time to work itself out in the end (if you get my drift). Obviously I need to hit up the gym and fast.
Gee, I'm not worried though because I can easily work off those calories with:
*1,400 minutes on the elliptical machine, or
*3,000 minutes of gardening, or
*3,600 minutes of jumping jacks, or
*4,000 minutes of showering (that's a lot of water!), or
*4,000 minutes of sex (Hmm...I don't know why it's weird that sex and showering use the same amount of calories, but it is.)
In any case, I'm not burning much sitting here on the couch, so off I go!
Friday, May 27, 2011
W21, Day 4: Off to the wild blue yonder
Stepped on the scale this morning, as I do every morning, which was unusually high for a random Friday morning. Usually Fridays are the days when the scale shows a drop. It's weird, but Sunday and Monday tend to be my lowest weight days, Tuesday usual goes up just a little bit, Wednesday and Thursday stay at that weight, and Friday is the first day to show a loss. The biggest dip is usually Saturday morning. I'm not sure why my weight cycles this way, but it truly is a regular pattern. Perhaps because I eat the most on the weekends and it takes a few days to catch up with me? WW tells you not to weigh more than once a week because you can drive yourself crazy, but it drives me crazy not to know on a day-to-day basis. It also helps me stay on track because I get on that scale and see it's a bit higher and know that I've got to be more careful that day. In any case, I blame this mornings pound on the evil cupcake last night. Yes, I know, it's bad, but I succumbed to a small cupcake with frosting. Nobody's perfect!
Otherwise, I had one of my favorite dinners last night and I think it's pretty healthy. It's my I-don't-want-to-cook-tonight-what-on-Earth-do-we-have-laying-around dinner standby. I cut a bunch of cherry tomatoes in half and mix in garbanzo beans (more of less depending on how much you like them), one can of tuna, diced red onions, one ounce of mozzarella, diced sweet pickles just for fun, and two tablespoons of non-fat sesame ginger dressing. I like to add chopped up cucumber, bell pepper, and beets too but I didn't have any last night. For dessert, some chopped up watermelon. Yum!
On another note, tonight and tomorrow I'm headed up the coast to stay with some wonderful people for the weekend. I'm very excited because, hey it's the beach, who wouldn't be excited? I'm already a bit worried about food though and sticking to my points around other folks who are eating "normally". (Yes, I know, I'm eating normally too---this has to become my norm for me to get where I want to be, but in this case I mean "normally" as eating more freely). I packed some fruit and fiber bars for myself so I'll try to stick to that. Here's hoping you have a great weekend planned too!
Otherwise, I had one of my favorite dinners last night and I think it's pretty healthy. It's my I-don't-want-to-cook-tonight-what-on-Earth-do-we-have-laying-around dinner standby. I cut a bunch of cherry tomatoes in half and mix in garbanzo beans (more of less depending on how much you like them), one can of tuna, diced red onions, one ounce of mozzarella, diced sweet pickles just for fun, and two tablespoons of non-fat sesame ginger dressing. I like to add chopped up cucumber, bell pepper, and beets too but I didn't have any last night. For dessert, some chopped up watermelon. Yum!
On another note, tonight and tomorrow I'm headed up the coast to stay with some wonderful people for the weekend. I'm very excited because, hey it's the beach, who wouldn't be excited? I'm already a bit worried about food though and sticking to my points around other folks who are eating "normally". (Yes, I know, I'm eating normally too---this has to become my norm for me to get where I want to be, but in this case I mean "normally" as eating more freely). I packed some fruit and fiber bars for myself so I'll try to stick to that. Here's hoping you have a great weekend planned too!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
W21, Day 1: Weigh Day
Weigh day today: 207.6, -1.2 pounds for the week and a total of -21.4 pounds with 57.6 to go. I have to say that 57 pounds seems like an awfully long way to go, but I'm happy to see myself getting back on track with having lost weight for the last two weeks in a row. At times I'm so impatient that I wish the loss was big every week, but I know that 1-2 pounds a week is healthy loss. And I'm also afraid of having a bunch of loose skin too after it's all done, so a little bit at a time is okay.
I feel like I'm hitting a plateau in my weight loss though, and I also feel too inactive. Put those two feelings together and what do you get? The need for exercise. Regular, systematic exercise. So my husband and I joined the gym. Remember what I wrote yesterday? The gym opens the day before I get out for summer vacation. Coincidence??? Then today at work I got an unexpected check for a stipend in the amount of $116. When we went to sign up at the gym, the fees and the first month's bill added up to $114. Coincidence??? I think not! And I still have enough money to buy a water bottle or two. Nice.
I'm a bit nervous to head back to the gym since it's been a couple years. The last time I joined one I felt so self-conscious at first, but then I realized that everyone is doing their own thing and you just blend into the background of it all. I'm sure that's how it'll be once I get it figured out at the new place too. Besides, there's a pool and spa. Oh yeah.... Feeling the positivity. :)
Speaking of positivity, here's a random picture of my snapdragons. They make me smile every time I see them. :)
Monday, May 23, 2011
W20, Day 7: One Nation, Overweight
I watched tonight a replaying of a show on CNBC called One Nation, Overweight about the ever growing problem of obesity. The show looked at various aspects of the "disease". I found it extremely interesting that they called obesity a disease, whereas other people might call it a choice. Anyway, they brought up some interesting factoids like:
But carrying on the kid idea, the show focused on how many high schools sell candy. In times of major budget cuts, this is a way for schools to raise money for clubs and sports activities, but at what cost? You might say, it's only a candy bar. But it isn't. Not for kids who are obese. I'll tell you a secret: my senior year of high school I gained thirty pounds. Why? Was it because of what I ate at home? No, not really, we ate pretty decently. The real reason was candy at school. I couldn't stop myself. I remember begging a friend not to sell me candy, and then by first recess begging her to sell it to me. I wouldn't have eaten it if it hadn't been there at school with me. I know, I know, my fault for making the choice and I chose wrongly. But what if I had never had to make that choice? I don't want to ruin it for everyone else, but I truly don't believe in selling junk food to kids--including soda--at school.
Anyway, if you ever have a chance to watch the show, I highly recommend it. I got a bit uncomfortable when one CEO said that he wouldn't hire anyone who was obese if he could get away with it because of the greater health care costs of that employee. The counter argument was that policies like that discriminate against people unfairly, saying: "[Obesity] is a complex issue...and it's short-sided to say you choose or don't chose health," meaning that there are plenty of people out there like me trying to choose what's right, but struggling along the way. Is it fair to discriminate hiring people like me? Of course I have to say "No"! But what about the employer's added costs? Still other employers are doing all sorts of incentive programs that seem to be having good effect with helping their employees lose weight and be more healthful. Maybe that's the way to go?
In other news, good reader, guess what? I'm finally going to do it, to take the plunge...to join out local gym. I've been waiting for our new local gym to open and at long last, it's opening on June 1st, one day before I get out for summer break. Coincidence? I think not!
Here's a link to the show information:
http://www.cnbc.com/id/36073283/
- At the current rate of increase, within 10 years 42% of the U.S. population will be obese. That's a terrible, huge number!
- This current generation of kids may be the first generation in our country to have shorter lifespans than their parents.
But carrying on the kid idea, the show focused on how many high schools sell candy. In times of major budget cuts, this is a way for schools to raise money for clubs and sports activities, but at what cost? You might say, it's only a candy bar. But it isn't. Not for kids who are obese. I'll tell you a secret: my senior year of high school I gained thirty pounds. Why? Was it because of what I ate at home? No, not really, we ate pretty decently. The real reason was candy at school. I couldn't stop myself. I remember begging a friend not to sell me candy, and then by first recess begging her to sell it to me. I wouldn't have eaten it if it hadn't been there at school with me. I know, I know, my fault for making the choice and I chose wrongly. But what if I had never had to make that choice? I don't want to ruin it for everyone else, but I truly don't believe in selling junk food to kids--including soda--at school.
Anyway, if you ever have a chance to watch the show, I highly recommend it. I got a bit uncomfortable when one CEO said that he wouldn't hire anyone who was obese if he could get away with it because of the greater health care costs of that employee. The counter argument was that policies like that discriminate against people unfairly, saying: "[Obesity] is a complex issue...and it's short-sided to say you choose or don't chose health," meaning that there are plenty of people out there like me trying to choose what's right, but struggling along the way. Is it fair to discriminate hiring people like me? Of course I have to say "No"! But what about the employer's added costs? Still other employers are doing all sorts of incentive programs that seem to be having good effect with helping their employees lose weight and be more healthful. Maybe that's the way to go?
In other news, good reader, guess what? I'm finally going to do it, to take the plunge...to join out local gym. I've been waiting for our new local gym to open and at long last, it's opening on June 1st, one day before I get out for summer break. Coincidence? I think not!
Here's a link to the show information:
http://www.cnbc.com/id/36073283/
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